You Are Not The Father Mario

So, there I was, sitting in my buddy's living room, eyes glued to the TV, watching him play Super Mario 3D World. He's about to save Princess Peach, the tension's building, and then... he jumps into a pit. Game over. I laugh, he groans, and suddenly, it hits me. "You know," I say, "you're not the father, Mario." He looks at me, confused. "What are you on about?" I grin, "Well, think about it. He's always saving Princess Peach, but has he ever once asked, 'Is she really my princess?'" And thus, a lightbulb moment was born.

Mario: The Original Deadbeat Dad?

Now, don't get me wrong, I love Mario. He's a plumber with a mustache who can jump on turtles and save princesses. What's not to love? But let's face it, his parenting skills are... questionable. I mean, how many times has he rescued Princess Peach, only to have her kidnapped again? And has he ever stopped to think, "Maybe I should teach her some self-defense instead of just running off to save her every time?"

But it's not just Mario's questionable parenting skills that got me thinking. It's the whole 'save the princess' trope in video games. It's always the same story: brave hero saves damsel in distress. But what if the hero is just a deadbeat dad, oblivious to the fact that he's not actually saving his own daughter?

Mario's Paternity Crisis

Think about it. Mario's been around for decades, rescuing Princess Peach (or Peach, or Daisy, or Rosalina - the names change, but the story's the same). But has he ever once stopped to ask, "Are you sure she's mine?" I mean, he's a plumber. He's around pipes all day. He should know better than anyone that things aren't always what they seem.

And let's not forget about Luigi. Poor Luigi. Always in his brother's shadow, always the second fiddle. What if Luigi's the real father? What if Mario's been stealing his thunder all these years? It's a plot twist worthy of a soap opera, don't you think?

The Princess Problem

But it's not just Mario who's got a problem. It's the whole princess-saving trope. It's always the same story: princess gets kidnapped, hero saves her. But what if the princess doesn't want to be saved? What if she's perfectly capable of saving herself? What if she's just using Mario's hero complex to her advantage?

I mean, think about it. Princess Peach is always getting kidnapped. Always. She's either the worst at self-defense, or she's got some serious daddy issues. Or maybe, just maybe, she's playing Mario like a fiddle, using his hero complex to get what she wants.

Mario: The Original Hero Complex

Mario's got a hero complex, plain and simple. He sees a damsel in distress, and he's off, charging in without a second thought. But what if he stopped to think? What if he asked some questions? What if he realized that maybe, just maybe, he's not the hero he thinks he is?

You are NOT the father!!! #supermariorpg #nintendoswitch - YouTube

I mean, think about it. He's a plumber. He's not a hero. He's not a king. He's not even a prince. He's a plumber. But he's got this hero complex, this need to save the day. And it's getting him, and Princess Peach, into some serious trouble.

So, What's the Point?

So, why am I bringing all this up? Is it just to poke fun at Mario's parenting skills? To question the princess-saving trope? To suggest that Mario might not be the hero we think he is? Maybe. But it's also to make a point about storytelling, about tropes, about the way we tell stories and the assumptions we make.

Mario's been around for decades, and we've always assumed he's the hero, the savior. But what if he's not? What if he's just a plumber with a hero complex, a plumber who's been played by a princess? What if the story we think we know is just a story we've been told, a story we've accepted without question?

So, the next time you're playing a game, the next time you're watching a movie, the next time you're reading a book, ask yourself: what if the story we think we know is just a story we've been told? What if the hero isn't who we think he is? What if the princess doesn't want to be saved? What if the story we think we know is just the tip of the iceberg, a story waiting to be questioned, to be challenged, to be told again, in a new way?

And as for Mario, well, maybe it's time he took a paternity test. Just saying.