Play With His Dick Not His Heart

So, there I was, sitting at the bar, nursing my drink, when this guy, let's call him Mr. Emotional, starts pouring his heart out to the bartender. You know the type, eyes all puppy-dog sad, voice dripping with woe. He's just been dumped, again. And here's the kicker, he's been dating this girl for, get this, two weeks.

Now, I'm not one to judge. Well, okay, I am, but that's beside the point. The thing is, this guy's clearly got his heart on his sleeve, and it's getting him nowhere. It got me thinking, why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we let our hearts rule our love lives, when we all know it's our other head that should be calling the shots?

Let's Talk Dick, Not Heart

Alright, before you roll your eyes or clutch your pearls, hear me out. I'm not saying we should all become emotionless robots, coldly calculating our next move. I'm saying, let's balance the scales. Let's give our dicks (or vaginas, no discrimination here) an equal say in the matter. Because let's face it, they're the ones who have to do the heavy lifting, literally.

Think about it, how many times have you found yourself in a relationship, head over heels, only to realize a few months in that the sex is meh? Or worse, it's terrible, but you stick around because you're 'in love'? Newsflash, folks, that's not love, that's stupidity. Or at least, it's not the whole picture.

But What About Love?

Oh, love. That four-letter word that's caused more heartache than all the breakups in history combined. But here's the thing, love isn't just about feelings. It's about chemistry. It's about that spark, that connection, that 'something' that makes you want to rip each other's clothes off at the slightest provocation. And that, my friends, is not something you can just feel.

Sure, love might start with a flutter in your stomach, but it's the flutter in your other stomach that keeps it going. It's the butterflies in your nether regions that make you want to see someone again. It's the 'I can't keep my hands off you' feeling that turns into 'I can't imagine my life without you'.

So, How Do We Do It?

Well, first off, let's stop rushing into things. We're all guilty of it. You meet someone, they're cute, you're into them, so you dive in headfirst. But here's the thing, you don't have to marry them on the first date. You don't even have to sleep with them on the first date. Get to know them. See if there's a spark. See if you want to sleep with them.

Penis Heart Decal, LGBTQ Pride Sticker - Etsy

And when you do finally get down and dirty, pay attention. Is it good? Great? Meh? Note it. Remember it. Because that's the kind of stuff that matters. That's the stuff that's going to keep you around when the 'in love' feeling starts to fade. Because, let's face it, it will fade. But great sex? That's a keeper.

And finally, communicate. Talk about what you like, what you don't like. Talk about what you want. Because if you can't talk about sex, how are you going to talk about anything else? And if you can't talk about it, how are you going to have it? And if you can't have it, well, what's the point?

But What About The Heart?

Oh, don't worry, I haven't forgotten about the heart. It's still important. It's just not the only thing that's important. So, go ahead, let yourself feel. Let yourself fall. Just make sure you're falling with something, not just because of something. Because, my friends, that's the secret to a happy, healthy, satisfying relationship.

So, the next time you find yourself in the 'I love you' zone, take a step back. Look at the whole picture. Is it just your heart talking? Or is it something else? Because, as they say, actions speak louder than words. And sometimes, those actions come from a little lower than the heart.