I Wish My Husband Was Bigger

So, I've been married to this guy, lovely guy, for what feels like a century now. Don't get me wrong, he's great, he's just... well, small. I mean, he's not a hobbit, but he's not exactly a giant either. You know?

Now, before you start thinking I'm some sort of Amazonian woman with a complex, let me stop you right there. I'm not. I'm your average 5'6", could-eat-a-whole-pizza-by-myself kind of gal. It's just, sometimes, I wish my husband was... bigger. Not in the 'eat more salads' kind of way, but in the 'could-reach-those-top-shelf-items-without-a-ladder' kind of way.

You Know, Like a Real-Life GI Joe

I mean, have you ever tried to watch a movie with someone who can't reach the TV remote? It's like trying to navigate a minefield blindfolded. And don't even get me started on the whole 'lifting heavy things' situation. I've had to call the neighbors more times than I can count to help move furniture. I swear, sometimes I think he's secretly a cat, with his tiny paws and his inability to operate heavy machinery.

But hey, it's not all bad. I mean, he's great with the kids. He can fit into those tiny little chairs at their school plays, and he's always the first one to volunteer to play the 'bad guy' in their games because, well, he's small enough to be believable. Plus, he's got this cute little laugh that makes me melt every time I hear it. So, there's that.

But Seriously, Why Can't He Be a Little Taller?

I've tried everything. I've made him wear those 'growth shoes' you see on infomercials at 3 AM. I've fed him more spinach than Popeye. I've even tried the old 'wish upon a star' trick. Nothing works. I'm starting to think he's just... set in his ways. Like a pair of old, comfy shoes. You know?

I Am Bigger Than My Husband: Breaking the Stigma of Body Size in

So, here I am, stuck with my tiny little husband. But you know what? I wouldn't trade him for the world. He might not be tall, but he's got a heart that's bigger than any giant I know. And at the end of the day, isn't that what really matters?

But hey, if anyone has any tips on how to make him grow a few inches, I'm all ears. Just don't tell him I said that. He thinks he's tall enough already. Men, am I right?