A Day To Remember Utah 2017

So, You Thought Utah Was All About Mormons and Mountains? Think Again!

Alright, gather 'round, folks. I've got a tale to tell about a day that'll make you look at Utah like you've never seen it before. Picture this: it's 2017, and I'm in Salt Lake City, ready to turn my preconceived notions about this place on their head.

Morning: The Great Salt Lake, Because Why Not?

Now, I know what you're thinking, "A lake? In Utah? Isn't that where they make those fancy pants that cost more than my rent?" Well, yes, but that's not what we're here for. We're here for the Great Salt Lake, the largest saltwater lake in the Western Hemisphere. And yes, it's as salty as it sounds. I mean, they've got a floating island there, folks. A whole island that moves around because it's so salty, the water can't support it. Isn't that just the most Utah thing you've ever heard?

And get this, the lake's water is so salty, it's like a natural spa for birds. There are millions of them, and they come from all over the place. It's like the avian United Nations out there. I swear, if birds could vote, they'd make this place a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

Afternoon: Dinosaurs, Because Utah Loves a Good Fossil

Now, I know what you're thinking, "But what about the dinosaurs, man? I heard Utah's got more dinosaur fossils than a Jurassic Park gift shop." And you're right. Utah's got more dinosaur fossils than a paleontologist's wet dream. So, off we go to the Natural History Museum of Utah.

This place is like a kid's dream come true. They've got a whole wall dedicated to dinosaur bones, and it's not just any wall, it's a glowing wall. I mean, who needs a nightlight when you can have a dinosaur bone nightlight, am I right?

And get this, the museum's got a whole exhibit dedicated to Utah's native tribes. It's like walking through a time machine, and it's fascinating. I mean, who knew that Utah was once home to tribes with names like the Fremont and the Ancestral Puebloans? I was expecting to see a tribe called the 'Mormon Misfits,' but no such luck.

Evening: Red Rock and Stargazing, Because Why Not?

Now, I know what you're thinking, "But what about the red rocks, man? I heard Utah's got more red rocks than a paint store." And you're right. So, we head out to Arches National Park to catch the sunset. The place is like a giant game of 'I Spy With My Little Eye,' except instead of spying, you're looking at arches, and instead of using your little eye, you're using your actual eye. You know what I mean.

A Day to Remember Setlist: Get Ready for the Maximum Fun Tour

The park's got more arches than a game of 'Chutes and Ladders.' I mean, there's the Delicate Arch, the Landscape Arch, and even the Double O Arch. I half expected James Bond to come swinging in on a vine, but alas, no such luck.

But the real showstopper is the stargazing. Utah's got some of the darkest skies in the country, which means it's like looking at the night sky through a high-definition telescope. I saw so many stars, I started feeling like a celebrity. I half expected someone to ask for my autograph.

Late Night: The City That Never Sleeps (Or Does It?)

Finally, we head back to Salt Lake City. Now, I know what you're thinking, "But what about the nightlife, man? I heard Utah's got more conservative than a church mouse on a Sunday." And you're right. But that doesn't mean there's nothing to do. We ended up at this little speakeasy-style bar called the Beehive House. Yes, you read that right. A bar called the Beehive House. I mean, only in Utah, folks.

The place is like a secret society for cocktail lovers. They've got drinks with names like the 'Beehive Buzz' and the 'Mormon Mule.' I ordered the 'Mormon Mule,' and let me tell you, it was like drinking a church social in a glass. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but it was certainly an experience.

So there you have it, folks. A day in Utah that was anything but ordinary. Who knew this place had so much to offer? I mean, sure, it's still got its fair share of Mormons and mountains, but it's also got dinosaur bones, red rocks, and secret speakeasies. I'd say that's a pretty good day, wouldn't you?